Ren.

  We've finally decided it's time to put Ren down.  The steroids have made him look more and more bloated, yet so gaunt.  We were hoping he would pass on his own but he has started to become partially incontinent and has started leaking a greenish fluid, probably related to the cancer in his prostate.  I'm sure it has spread or ruptured or something else totally miserable.  

We scheduled the appointment and today was the day.  It was not an easy morning.  

I made the kids puppy pancakes.  Even though they have no idea what is going on, they still loved that they were like Ren.

I took the kids outside and took a few last pictures with him. Oh what a fantastic dog.  He never needed a leash when we were outside, he always stayed right with us.  He was rarely interested in other people or dogs while we were on walks, he was content to just hang out by me.  His only flaw was his separation anxiety, but you couldn't blame him for that.  Losing his dad and then his family, twice, couldn't have been easy for him.  I'm glad we got to love him as much as possible while he was with us.

Oh it was a hard day.  I knew it wouldn't be easy but it was even harder than I anticipated.  I sat on the floor at the Vet and held him.  I got to have a little tender mercy, when after they injected the euthanasia drug, his heart rate slowed to a normal pace and he relaxed into my arms, before he was gone completely.  It was only a second or two, but that small moment of peace gave me so much comfort- to have him be at peace and comfortable again before he left this life.

We took him to Lehi and buried him in the back corner behind the chicken coop at Jeff's grandpa's (now Jeff's dad's) property.  I like knowing he is somewhere close and in the family.  

Ren, rest in peace, we will see you again someday!  

And may the fourth be with you! 

(Sad effort at comedic relief, I know, but today is May 4th...)  ;')